Catching up--Julian's birth story

 Julian's birth story

1/21/2020

Started off like any other day!  I was very tired because I spent most of the night awake tossing, turning, and coughing due to acid reflux.  I got up around 6:45 am, took 5 year old Amelia to school, went to the grocery store, and got home around 8:45.  Took a nap with the dog from 10-1115, and headed to my final appointments for a growth scan and the Diabetes in Pregnancy team.  Growth scan went well and showed him to be about 7 lb 10 oz, and he had turned breech the night before!  Considering we had a scheduled C-Section for the 27th, I wasn't concerned.  I went to my appt with the diabetes folks, and my blood pressure was 150/90.  They waited a while and checked again, and it was 150/90 again.  My heart rate was good in the 70s, so they were concerned and called my doctor.  Doc had me go to labor and delivery triage, and to be honest I was pretty annoyed by the whole thing.  They checked me in, took some blood and urine, and hooked me up to the monitor.  By this time, it was about 2:30 in the afternoon and I knew I had to pick Amelia up from school around 4:30, so I was extra annoyed.  Nevertheless, my blood pressure was fantastic at 120s/60s the whole time they were monitoring me.  I was positive I was going to go home when this was all over.  Welp the blood work came back and it was obvious before I even saw the doctor (it was on my online chart and I'm a nurse and understand the results) that I was mildly pre-eclamptic and I was probably going to have a baby that day.  The doctor confirmed that when she came in!  So I called Derek and started making plans.  He picked Amelia up from school, went home and grabbed all the things (including the car seat which was still in the box, lol), and headed to the hospital.  At this time, it's about 4:45 and they scheduled my csection for 7:00 because I had eaten a protein bar around 11.  MIL was to meet us at the hospital, along with my brother, SIL, and my mom.  

For reference, my last csection was an absolute shit show.  I had been in labor with Amelia for 14-16 hours when they realized my uterus was infected because she had pooped several hours before.  Her heart rate was high, mine was high, and I had a raging fever.  They put my spinal block in my existing epidural, but because my uterus was so inflamed I felt WAY too much.  They pushed Fentanyl and Ativan on me, but it wasn't enough.  I screamed and screamed for them to stop, but nobody stopped and nobody put my lights out.  I wish so much that they would have put me to sleep.  Either way, the birth was horrific and I spoke with both the doctor and the CRNA for this birth and insisted that if I felt too much I was going to NEED to be put out.  They both agreed, of course, because they're not incompetent sadists.

They rolled me into the OR a little after 7.  I felt NOTHING.  I was actually singing along with my playlist, which Derek and I made on the fly to distract ourselves from the fact that we were having a BABY!  I got my spinal block, which wasn't as bad as it was when I had Amelia because I wasn't having contractions through it.  My heart rate went a little high and they kept having to tell me to take deep breaths and calm down.  I was just so nervous waiting for Derek so we could get started.  I felt the usual pushing and pulling, but somewhere along the line the pushing and pulling became really violent.  Still couldn't feel it, but it was very strong movement.  Apparently baby's head was surrounded by adhesions from my last section, and he was STUCK STUCK.  I ended up with a nurse and a doctor on top of me pushing him out while another nurse cut the adhesions and the surgeon pulled him out.  My baby was born!!!!!!  They brought him over to the warmer before I even realized he was born, and started working on him right away.  He was slow to wake up, as a lot of C-section deliveries are, and he had some fluid trapped in his lungs, which a lot of C-Section deliveries do.  His apgars were 4 and 8, which is better than Amelia!  Hers were 2 and 9.  He finally cried and I LOST IT.  I got to do skin-to-skin with him, which I didn't get to do with Amelia because I was so doped up and dizzy.  I'm so thankful I was able to do skin to skin with him!  I got my tubes tied, got stitched up, and went off to recovery to bond with this sweet little one.  Amelia was overjoyed to meet him but was genuinely scared when he cried (lol, get used to it kid) and went home with my MIL.

My pain level has been...okay.  My muscles are extremely sore from being pushed and pulled on and literally having people's entire body weights on me.  My nurse said I should probably expect some bruising.  Baby was a bit bruised but I never noticed.  He was been an absolute champ despite some low blood sugars...it's amazing how resilient these little ones can be!  

He was born 7 lbs 1 oz, 21 inches long, with light brown hair that looks like it will have a cute curl to it.  He's less than 12 hours old right now so he hasn't had his first bath and we don't know for sure.  Either way, he is gorgeous and perfect and has rebounded from a pretty rough birth.  His blood sugar readings have been a little low so we've been working on breastfeeding and getting him to wake up to eat.  Overall, this experience has been very positive!  Just the fact that the surgery itself was not traumatic has helped heal me so much.  I know I still have a long way to go (I mean when I say I'm sore...omg am I ever sore) but the reward of this little boy has been so worth it!

Catching up--Amelia's birth story

Amelia Rose, born 8/1/14

After a last meal of burgers and ice cream, we headed to the hospital for our 6:30 induction.  On our way to the hospital, we hit a wall of traffic that started to stress me out and make me think we were going to be late.  My sweet husband told me that now that we were in the car on the way to the hospital, we were officially on a roller coaster ride.  We were buckled in, and we weren’t getting off until we had our baby.  That helped me so much, and being “buckled in” was a mantra I carried with me though the whole labor, delivery, and post partum periods.  We ended up being pretty much right on time to the hospital, despite the traffic.  It took us a while to get checked in, but they checked us directly into a delivery room instead of triage since I was an induction.  

The doctor came in and checked me around 9pm, and said I was .5cm dilated and 50% effaced.  He placed the Misoprostol and did a stretch and sweep, and at 9:15 induction officially began!  The plan was to let the Miso kick in, and check me in 4 hours to see if I needed another dose.  I was pretty comfortable at first, and was told that the most that would happen would be some cramping.  Around 11:15-11:30, I started feeling some pretty intense cramping (like really bad menstrual cramps) that started coming and going at regular intervals.  By 12:30, they were getting more intense and I started to feel really nauseous.  I asked for something to take the edge off the pain and nausea, and was given phenergan and stadol.  I felt so much better, and was able to get some sleep until the doctor came in to check me again at 1:30.  

At 1:30 the doctor came in to check me, and this cervical check was much more comfortable because of the meds.  She said something about me “not being eligible” and I said, “Eligible for what?”  She said I wasn’t eligible for another tab of Miso because I was 4 cm dilated!!!  This was HUGE for me!  I was so happy because I had officially gone into labor “on my own” without pitocin.  I was still feeling contractions at this point, and they were getting stronger because the meds were wearing off.  By 3:30, I wasn’t able to breathe through them any more and they were radiating around to my back and causing me a ton of pain.  Because I was still so “early” in the labor process, I hesitated about getting an epidural (especially because I wanted to go completely naturally) but I was “buckled in” and knew that I would exhaust myself if I continued to labor in the middle of the night with no sleep and a ton of pain.  I called for the epi.  Getting the epi placed pretty much sucked...I had been relatively comfortable sitting on the side of the bed and breathing through contractions, but was able to move around until that point.  I had 4-5 contractions while the epi was being placed, and it was a pretty miserable experience having to stay completely still while a needle was making its way into my spine.  However, sweet relief came when it kicked in and I was able to get a little more sleep!

I woke up at 4:30 to the doctor at my bedside with his hands on his hips.  He said Amelia was having heartrate decelerations after my contractions, which is not so great.  He asked if he could break my water so we could put an internal monitor on her, because she was wide awake and kept wiggling away from the external monitor.  I told him to check me and see where I was at, and I’d decide from there.  6 cm!  Progress!  I decided to let him go ahead and break my water.  Her heartrate evened out after that, and everyone was happy.  About an hour later, another doc came in to check on me and noted that there was meconium in the waters that leaked onto my bed, and we’d have to keep a close eye.  By 7am I was 9cm, so we went ahead and called my MIL and SIL to come to the hospital, since things were progressing so quickly.  My mom had been vomiting for 24 hours straight at that point, so we knew she wasn’t going to be able to be there for the birth.  I was (and still am) totally brokenhearted that she wasn’t able to be there.  Another 2 hours went by and I was still at 9.5 cm, 100% effaced and I was hoping that they’d go ahead and let me push soon.  NOPE!  By 10:00 I was 10cm/100% but Amelia hadn’t dropped very much so they decided to let me “labor down” for an hour or so.  Eventually (this is where things get fuzzy--it was probably 1 ½ hours later) they let me start pushing.  I pushed for maybe 30 minutes before the shit hit the fan.  They took my temp and it was 101, Amelia’s heartrate was in the 180s and wouldn’t come down, and my heartrate was fast too.  They made me stop pushing and had the doctor come in.  Turns out I had an infection, and it was looking pretty likely that this was going to end in a C-section.  Again, I was upset, but I was also “buckled in” and just wanted my baby.  They said their OR was busy with another c-section so I’d have to wait for about an hour.  In the meantime, they put me on oxygen in the hopes that it would bring Amelia’s heartrate down.  It went down into the 170s and pretty much stayed there.

Anesthesia came in and gave me spinal block medication in my existing epidural, and I was whisked off to the OR.  I cried as I was leaving the room, wanting my mom more than anything in the world.  Husband would be brought into the OR as soon as they made sure the spinal block was working.  I was so scared and nervous.  They did a bunch of tests to make sure that the spinal was working (it sure seemed like it was) and then they got my husband just in the nick of time so he could see my insides.  Having a door directly in the line of sight of someone’s uterus is poor planning.  He came and sat down, and they got to work getting Amelia out.  That’s when the shit REALLY hit the fan.  I felt too much.  Most of it was pressure (especially down low) but I felt them remove her head from my pelvic bones and the rest of it felt like they were ripping my insides out.  We’re still not sure if the spinal block just didn’t take full effect, or if it was the infection, but I felt EVERYTHING they did up high.  It wasn’t a searing pain, it was definitely blunted, but it wasn’t the “just pressure” they had promised me.  I started screaming, literally screaming, and begging them to stop and just give me a minute to catch my breath.  It felt like they were ripping her legs from my ribs, like she was somehow caught and needed to be peeled out.  As I screamed, they pushed some IV fentanyl and something to calm me down so they could finish.  They’re lucky I couldn’t move, because I probably would have run out of there with my uterus hanging out if I could have.  They finally got her out, and she made one good squawky cry before they whisked her off to the NICU.  It was such a relief to know that she was born, and appeared to be alive!  They told my husband they would come get him when she was stable, and he said he heard the word “resuscitate” as they took her out of the room.  The rest of the surgery went relatively smoothly considering I was still feeling too much...I tried to just breathe through it but my husband said my eyes kept rolling back in my head and he thought he was going to lose both me and the baby.  He must have been so scared.  It took about 10 minutes but they finally came and got him to see Amelia!  I don’t know how long he was gone but when he came back he let me know that she was alive, and beautiful, and only had 3 toes on her left clubbed foot.  We knew the foot was clubbed, but we didn’t know about her toes.  I didn’t even care...I was just so happy my baby was alive!  He brought her in to me and I was able to hold her for just a minute before I started feeling dizzy again.  I was told I’d be able to see her again in the recovery room.  

 

I had to wait maybe 15-30 minutes to see her once I got in recovery, but it was so worth the wait!  The best surprise was that the nurse that brought her to me was someone who used to work at the hospital I work at, and I had no idea she was working there!  As soon as I saw her, I said her name and started crying.  She had been asking my husband if I was the same jmdtova who works at suchandsuch hospital, so she knew Amelia was my baby and she was so happy for us.  She was Amelia’s first nurse, and I am forever grateful to her for taking care of my precious one and being the beacon of light to bring her to me!  Amelia’s blood sugar was 2 points lower than they wanted it 1 hour after birth, so I squeezed out some colostrum and fed her some formula from a syringe.  She was perfectly fine afterward, and didn’t need ANY antibiotics or blood sugar checks!  

We were in the hospital from the 31st until the 4th.  Because of my infection, they wanted me to complete a course of antibiotics, and stay an extra night to make sure I was infection-free.  It wasn’t bad being stuck in the hospital, especially because I was SO SORE and barely able to move for the first day or 2.  My only complaint was the lactation consultants--they were pushy, rude, and made me feel like an absolute failure.  Amelia had problems latching because her palate is high, she has a tiny lip tie on her top lip, and my nipples are pretty flat.  The lactation consultants insisted that I feed her out of a CUP (yes a CUP) rather than pushing the nipple shield or kangaroo feeding formula, or even using a syringe.  The result was an incredible amount of frustration--a hungry newborn, forcing food down her throat without her having to suck, feeling like we were giving her too much at a time...it was a disaster.  Still, the consultants insisted that I try to feed her directly from my breast and it simply wasn’t working.  She would get a semi-latch, suck 3-4 times and give up.  Our nurses were our saving graces...they brought us bottles and nipples so I could pump and bottle feed her, and it was working out fantastically.  Lactation was having none of that...they continued to push me (and barge into my room during L&D “quiet time”!!!) and make me feel like utter shit.  We have continued feeding her breast milk from a bottle, and she surpassed her birth weight in about a week!  If it aint broke, don’t fix it..I’ve also started using a nipple shield now that my milk has come in, and that seems to work pretty well for us.

Being home has been absolutely great.  I love watching my husband with our daughter...it was my dream to make him a daddy and I can’t believe I’ve actually done it.  I could stare at her for hours, smell her, feel her sweet little baby skin...I can’t believe she’s mine and that I made her inside of my body.  Despite how difficult my pregnancy was, and how difficult the delivery was, I am more in love than I’ve ever been and I can’t wait to watch this little girl grow up.