Mmmkay, so 2010 might not suck after all. It appears my unemployment days are over!
I filled out an application for a telecommute position with Convergys, thinking there was absolutely no way I was going to get the job. I have NO tech support experience, but I have a ton of call center experience and I'm a self-proclaimed customer service ninja. But Cincinnati Bell is having layoffs in their tech support dept right now so obviously the market is packed. I thought there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to get the job.
The position is pretty amazing. It's a telecommute position where I would work from home. I would spend 2 weeks training at the company, then I would be sent home with a computer, a phone and a headset. It's a split-shift schedule...the hours are 11-3, then 7-11. It provides benefits and 401k. Can you say "PERFECT JOB"?? I knew you could.
I could not have gotten through the interview process without Joy, Ted and Amber. I didn't even have a resume because it died with my old laptop and I don't have Word or a printer here at home. So Joy and Ted let me use their computer and printer and POOF! I had a resume! I found a pair of pants that fit (they magically appeared in the entertainment room closet) and a pretty sweater (thanks Julie!) to wear, so I was totally prepared. I had to set 2 alarms to wake myself up at 8am, but made it there on time--after all, it's 10 minutes away!
Longest. Interview. Ever. But time FLEW! There was a paper test, followed by a few computer tests and a typing test. Then I went in for my interview. I don't normally interview very well. I'm usually redfaced and sweaty and bumbling over myself. But I was totally at ease because I knew there was no way I was going to get offered the job. I smiled and was friendly instead of being stiff and formal. We did the usual Q&A--"Tell me about a time when a customer made you so mad you wanted to stab a baby panda in the eye but you kept your cool and puckered your asshole and said 'I'm sorry for your trouble, Sir, let me see if I can help you with that'." (Wow, I'm fucking hilarious.) We did a role-playing exercise and I bumbled a little but collected myself. Afterwards, she said they had more interviews lined up but she wanted to see if she could give me an offer now rather than having to wait a week. OMG! I almost peed myself. I filled out all of the pre-employment paperwork and was sent on my way with drug testing paperwork. I went home, celebrated my brand-new employment by practically tap-dancing to the door, ate lunch and went to my drug test. Now, all I have to do is test my internet service and email the HR lady. BARRING DIVINE INTERVENTION, THIS JOB IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I'm psyched. Here are a few reasons why!!! First of all, I'm working from home. No driving for 2 hours a day. No psycho coworkers. No dress code (my planned uniform for day 1 at home is longjohns and a fluffy robe. Maybe knee socks.). No non-smoking laws. There will be a bathroom 5 feet away. There will ALWAYS be a knitting project at the ready. I don't start work until 11am. I have time in the afternoon/evening to run errands or hang with my BFF. The money is good. I can give the finger to my computer screen without anyone looking over my back. They're providing a computer. I don't have to brave the rain/sleet/snow/ice or retarded drivers. I don't have to pay to eat lunch, I can just have my Mommy make me some. :-P If I get sick, I don't need to call in for fear of infecting my coworkers--I can just stuff a tissue up my nose and go about my day (while wearing my longjohns and robe).
The most important thing in all of this is I'm going to receive a serious geek orientation. I need this. To be honest, I don't know very much about how computers/teh interwebz work. *blushes* I just know that they work, and I know how to use them very well. Since this is going to be an internet tech support job, I'm going to need to learn this stuff. I passed all of the tests they gave me...2 of them were really hard and very technical, but would be kid stuff to any of my dear friends who have worked at Zoomtown. So, this is going to provide a really good opportunity to learn more about teh interwebz and computers. Just another skill I get to pack under my belt.
I am fully aware that in this economy, I have absolutely no business getting a job this awesome. I should have lost that job to someone from Zoomtown or someone with ANY tech support experience. I won the job based on my past job performance, personality and customer service record. I'm shocked and amazed, and so is my Mom. Shit, EVERYONE is probably shocked and amazed, and I'm sure a couple of people are pissed that they have more experience. But there are more positions available, as far as I know. Working at home is something I've wanted to do since I worked at Karrass...people would call in and have things sent to their "home office" addresses and I would be SOOOOOOO jealous! Somehow, I managed to land this. I guess it's about damn time something good happened, LOL! *knocks on wood* Anyway, I just wanted to shout from the rooftops that I landed the best job ever. I really hope it meets my expectations. I do realize that I will get frustrated. I will get frustrated with the customers, my internet connection, learning new software, not getting off work until 11pm, etc. But to be honest, the good FAR outweighs the bad in this situation. The freedom of working at home is priceless. I feel totally unworthy, but totally awesome at the same time! Part of me knows I deserve it, but I'm still kinda in shock. I have orientation Feb. 12th, and start training at the facility on the 15th. At-home virtual training starts March 1st, and I start my regular schedule on the 8th.
YAY, I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!! Jen's year of unemployment is OVER!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
My life blows.
I am 28 years old.
Jobless.
Single.
Childless.
Uninsured.
Living with my Mom.
...and about to be carless.
Life sure is fucking awesome. If I didn't know that it would destroy my mother and my best friend, I would just take my car and myself off of the nearest cliff.
Jobless.
Single.
Childless.
Uninsured.
Living with my Mom.
...and about to be carless.
Life sure is fucking awesome. If I didn't know that it would destroy my mother and my best friend, I would just take my car and myself off of the nearest cliff.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
2 days in a ROW???
I had the urge to blog again...I've been preoccupied with something all day. I guess the best way for me to relieve my stress is to get the feelings out. I'm working on using my blog therapeutically while still maintaining my own privacy and not revealing too much. I feel comfortable sharing about this part of my life because A)most people already know about it and B)it's just another part of my life that helped make me who I am.
A long, long time ago, I was quite the binge drinker. I also had a pesky prescription drug habit, which was becoming more like a monkey on my back. To get help, I sought the help of AA. I was 19 years old when I made my affiliation with AA--very young. I was brand-new in CA and had no friends. And I mean NO friends. I was slowly but surely welcomed into an amazing group of friends in AA. We started off as a small group of young people in AA (YPAA's for short) and we had a blast together. We hosted dances, went to dances, had movie/poker/spades nights, spent countless nights awake on energy drinks, went to conventions, counseled each other, helped each other stay sober, and never let an ounce of bullshit pass from anyone's lips. We were young, relatively wild, and honestly--as close as family. Over the years, the size of the group swelled and shrank. More people came in & out than I can count. I loved them all in my own special way. Deeply. I could write a paragraph about each of them. After 5 years of continuous sobriety, I still had a lot of doubts as to whether or not I was really an alcoholic. I was miserable all the time, didn't relate to anyone anymore, and I felt like I was outgrowing this group of friends. I made some major mistakes that I'll regret forever before eventually taking a drink in August of 2008.
Due to the mistakes that I made shortly before leaving AA, a lot of my friends turned their backs on me. I completely understand...I probably would have done the same thing. The only difference is that I would have taken the time to listen to the involved person...to get some perspective on why they did what they did. I am not a bad person--I never have been. I am a good person who is HUMAN and sometimes does bad things thinking that the greater good will somehow come out of it. What happened to me was a snowball effect which turned into a complete fucking avalanche. It may have even been forgiven over time. But since I made the decision to leave AA, I no longer had the main common ground I had with my friends before. I sought their forgiveness, and the answer was the same-get back in AA. Problem is--I don't NEED AA! I'm not an alcoholic, as over a year of average-Joe drinking has proven. I am a former binge drinker who used to have a pill addiction. The same 6-pack of beer has been sitting in my fridge since September, and it hasn't been touched. There are 2 unopened bottles of wine. When I drink, I usually have a couple of beers or mixed drinks over a few hours. And I can count on one hand the number of times I've been truly drunk over the past year. Everyone knows I'm a stoner--so what?!?! You'd be surprised how many "normal/average" people smoke that plant. Anyway, AA is more than just a way to stop drinking. It's a way of life--a life I lived from the ages of 19-26. It can be wonderful...I found a lot to be thankful for during that time. Most of all, I was thankful for my friends.
Today, I sometimes mourn those relationships. Especially the close ones. It's hard to express what kind of a loss it is to lose so many friends so quickly. I had known some of these people since the day I walked into my first meeting. They watched me grow and develop. Others, I got to watch grow and develop. We're talking YEARS of friendship and uncountable secrets. Incredible good times. For those that I knew 5+ years...those people were my backbone. One of them was the ringleader in making sure everyone's backs were turned against me. He was my former roommate and one of my closest friends. I can't tell you how much he hurt me with his insults and rallying of the troops to hate me. Another friend (my very best friend in CA, someone I loved so much I thought I was IN love with him...) passively watched as my character was assassinated, then dropped contact with me altogether. A few of my friends stood up for me, none kept in contact. But the people that truly mattered stuck with me through the rough times and are still my friends today. I was around AA for long enough (and especially YPAA) to know that it is highly political and hierarchical. The leaders will always be the leaders, unless they drink or die. YPAA is a huge popularity contest, and most are too afraid to speak up when something is wrong. For instance--there was a guy in our group of friends who was known for sleeping with newly sober (and sometimes underage) girls. Personally, I couldn't stand the guy. I never liked him, but tolerated him because he was a part of the group. I would have stuck my neck out for him if he needed it, but he was not a moral compass for me. However, he was one of the "popular kids" and nobody ever shamed him or turned their backs on him because of his behavior. There was another guy who was newer to the group (although sober longer) who did the same kinds of behavior and he was SEVERELY blackballed. I can name MANY instances of people making the same sort of mistake I did (it's very common, and no I'm not going to tell you) in AA--what was so different/special about what I did? There's a guy who did almost exactly the same thing I did--and he's still a well-respected and trusted member of the group. Even though I was ready to distance myself from the group as a whole (and had been doing so for a few months prior to my drinking), the hypocrisy of the group as a whole makes me never want to return. It's the people I miss, individually. Even the 2 guys who hurt me the most.
I guess it's just a part of growing up and learning lessons, but I've been thinking a lot about these people lately. They were my whole world at one point, and I wonder whether or not they ever miss me as much as I miss them. Are their stories about me good, or do they only talk about the bad things I did? I guess it's hard to tell good stories when you're left with bittersweet memories. My mistakes were at the group level, but it affected people individually and I have to accept that. I'm happy with my life outside of AA...I love it. In fact, I feel like I was holding myself back a lot when I was in AA. Sometimes I feel like those years could have been better spent on getting my education or finding a mate. But I would not trade my experiences for the world. Every experience, good or bad, has turned me into the woman I am today. 99% of the time, I love myself. So I can't look back anymore, mourning and wishing someone would reach out to me. Life has moved forward and so must I.
A long, long time ago, I was quite the binge drinker. I also had a pesky prescription drug habit, which was becoming more like a monkey on my back. To get help, I sought the help of AA. I was 19 years old when I made my affiliation with AA--very young. I was brand-new in CA and had no friends. And I mean NO friends. I was slowly but surely welcomed into an amazing group of friends in AA. We started off as a small group of young people in AA (YPAA's for short) and we had a blast together. We hosted dances, went to dances, had movie/poker/spades nights, spent countless nights awake on energy drinks, went to conventions, counseled each other, helped each other stay sober, and never let an ounce of bullshit pass from anyone's lips. We were young, relatively wild, and honestly--as close as family. Over the years, the size of the group swelled and shrank. More people came in & out than I can count. I loved them all in my own special way. Deeply. I could write a paragraph about each of them. After 5 years of continuous sobriety, I still had a lot of doubts as to whether or not I was really an alcoholic. I was miserable all the time, didn't relate to anyone anymore, and I felt like I was outgrowing this group of friends. I made some major mistakes that I'll regret forever before eventually taking a drink in August of 2008.
Due to the mistakes that I made shortly before leaving AA, a lot of my friends turned their backs on me. I completely understand...I probably would have done the same thing. The only difference is that I would have taken the time to listen to the involved person...to get some perspective on why they did what they did. I am not a bad person--I never have been. I am a good person who is HUMAN and sometimes does bad things thinking that the greater good will somehow come out of it. What happened to me was a snowball effect which turned into a complete fucking avalanche. It may have even been forgiven over time. But since I made the decision to leave AA, I no longer had the main common ground I had with my friends before. I sought their forgiveness, and the answer was the same-get back in AA. Problem is--I don't NEED AA! I'm not an alcoholic, as over a year of average-Joe drinking has proven. I am a former binge drinker who used to have a pill addiction. The same 6-pack of beer has been sitting in my fridge since September, and it hasn't been touched. There are 2 unopened bottles of wine. When I drink, I usually have a couple of beers or mixed drinks over a few hours. And I can count on one hand the number of times I've been truly drunk over the past year. Everyone knows I'm a stoner--so what?!?! You'd be surprised how many "normal/average" people smoke that plant. Anyway, AA is more than just a way to stop drinking. It's a way of life--a life I lived from the ages of 19-26. It can be wonderful...I found a lot to be thankful for during that time. Most of all, I was thankful for my friends.
Today, I sometimes mourn those relationships. Especially the close ones. It's hard to express what kind of a loss it is to lose so many friends so quickly. I had known some of these people since the day I walked into my first meeting. They watched me grow and develop. Others, I got to watch grow and develop. We're talking YEARS of friendship and uncountable secrets. Incredible good times. For those that I knew 5+ years...those people were my backbone. One of them was the ringleader in making sure everyone's backs were turned against me. He was my former roommate and one of my closest friends. I can't tell you how much he hurt me with his insults and rallying of the troops to hate me. Another friend (my very best friend in CA, someone I loved so much I thought I was IN love with him...) passively watched as my character was assassinated, then dropped contact with me altogether. A few of my friends stood up for me, none kept in contact. But the people that truly mattered stuck with me through the rough times and are still my friends today. I was around AA for long enough (and especially YPAA) to know that it is highly political and hierarchical. The leaders will always be the leaders, unless they drink or die. YPAA is a huge popularity contest, and most are too afraid to speak up when something is wrong. For instance--there was a guy in our group of friends who was known for sleeping with newly sober (and sometimes underage) girls. Personally, I couldn't stand the guy. I never liked him, but tolerated him because he was a part of the group. I would have stuck my neck out for him if he needed it, but he was not a moral compass for me. However, he was one of the "popular kids" and nobody ever shamed him or turned their backs on him because of his behavior. There was another guy who was newer to the group (although sober longer) who did the same kinds of behavior and he was SEVERELY blackballed. I can name MANY instances of people making the same sort of mistake I did (it's very common, and no I'm not going to tell you) in AA--what was so different/special about what I did? There's a guy who did almost exactly the same thing I did--and he's still a well-respected and trusted member of the group. Even though I was ready to distance myself from the group as a whole (and had been doing so for a few months prior to my drinking), the hypocrisy of the group as a whole makes me never want to return. It's the people I miss, individually. Even the 2 guys who hurt me the most.
I guess it's just a part of growing up and learning lessons, but I've been thinking a lot about these people lately. They were my whole world at one point, and I wonder whether or not they ever miss me as much as I miss them. Are their stories about me good, or do they only talk about the bad things I did? I guess it's hard to tell good stories when you're left with bittersweet memories. My mistakes were at the group level, but it affected people individually and I have to accept that. I'm happy with my life outside of AA...I love it. In fact, I feel like I was holding myself back a lot when I was in AA. Sometimes I feel like those years could have been better spent on getting my education or finding a mate. But I would not trade my experiences for the world. Every experience, good or bad, has turned me into the woman I am today. 99% of the time, I love myself. So I can't look back anymore, mourning and wishing someone would reach out to me. Life has moved forward and so must I.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Cold, hard unemployment.
The moment I was laid off was quite possibly one of the scariest moments of my life. I had just returned back to CA after spending Christmas and New Years in KY, and already had a plan to move back to KY by June. Sarah and I worked out a financial plan for me and I was sticking to it...until January 22nd, 2009. I literally trembled from head to toe while they were giving me the "it's not you, it's me" speech and referring back to the shitty economy and bad business numbers. I was bright red (I could feel my face burning) and crying...it was a real mess. All of the planning I had done in the couple of weeks since I made my decision to move home was for nothing...I needed to move home as soon as possible. I was given a decent severance and applied for unemployment the first day I could. Since then, to be honest, life has been pretty comfortable. I consider myself a house-daughter (think housewife but not really, lol!). I have a lot of free time to spend with my friends and my family. I'm bringing in about $1300/mo right now, and my total bills are $830 or so. This leaves me a little to have fun with, and a growing nest egg in my account. I feel pretty good about my finances, which is odd. As my 1 year anniversary of being unemployed approaches, I'm really torn about what the hell I'm going to do when I HAVE to get a job. This is going to be hard for a few reasons:
1. The job market here SUCKS. I was inspired to write this blog after seeing that OH's unemployment rate is now over 10%. I don't know how I'm going to get a job in this economy, and frankly it scares the hell out of me.
2. I desperately want to focus on school. School is all I want to do. I haven't been in school for 6 years, and I am denying myself a proper education. But I have bills as well, so I'm going to need a job that is flexible enough for me to be able to go to school.
3. I have been genuinely happy with my life over the past year, mostly due to my unemployment! Spending time with my friends and family has been incredible, and I love having a flexible schedule. I like not having a commute. I like not having to deal with the general public--and if I do have to deal with them at least I'm in a position to be able to tell them to fuck off without getting fired. :-P
I'm still making my mind up about school. Part of the problem is whether or not I'll be able to get any grants or loans. I already have a loan that I'm paying on. I filled out a FAFSA earlier this year, and since it went off of the information on my 2008 taxes (mucho dinero earned that year) I was ineligible for money. I wish the money would just fall from the sky, seriously. I've worked too hard for too long to deny myself an education. I'm starving for it. I also still can't figure out whether to go to NKU and work on my psychology degree, or go to Gateway and ensure myself a position in the healthcare field. NKU would take a long time and a lot of unnecessary classes. Gateway is a shorter program that is more focused on your field. Should I deny myself my dream of working as a psychologist (something that I've wanted to do since I was 13) to do what's more convenient for my future? Will I be able to "settle" for healthcare? And will I hate myself for it??? Because honestly, going to Gateway just seems like the better choice at this junction!! Ugh, I just don't know. I'm so tired of thinking about all of this, but if I don't work it out on paper/in blog, I'll never work it out!
1. The job market here SUCKS. I was inspired to write this blog after seeing that OH's unemployment rate is now over 10%. I don't know how I'm going to get a job in this economy, and frankly it scares the hell out of me.
2. I desperately want to focus on school. School is all I want to do. I haven't been in school for 6 years, and I am denying myself a proper education. But I have bills as well, so I'm going to need a job that is flexible enough for me to be able to go to school.
3. I have been genuinely happy with my life over the past year, mostly due to my unemployment! Spending time with my friends and family has been incredible, and I love having a flexible schedule. I like not having a commute. I like not having to deal with the general public--and if I do have to deal with them at least I'm in a position to be able to tell them to fuck off without getting fired. :-P
I'm still making my mind up about school. Part of the problem is whether or not I'll be able to get any grants or loans. I already have a loan that I'm paying on. I filled out a FAFSA earlier this year, and since it went off of the information on my 2008 taxes (mucho dinero earned that year) I was ineligible for money. I wish the money would just fall from the sky, seriously. I've worked too hard for too long to deny myself an education. I'm starving for it. I also still can't figure out whether to go to NKU and work on my psychology degree, or go to Gateway and ensure myself a position in the healthcare field. NKU would take a long time and a lot of unnecessary classes. Gateway is a shorter program that is more focused on your field. Should I deny myself my dream of working as a psychologist (something that I've wanted to do since I was 13) to do what's more convenient for my future? Will I be able to "settle" for healthcare? And will I hate myself for it??? Because honestly, going to Gateway just seems like the better choice at this junction!! Ugh, I just don't know. I'm so tired of thinking about all of this, but if I don't work it out on paper/in blog, I'll never work it out!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!
I absolutely had to blog! Sometimes I let my emotions build up and don't put them into any useful outlet. Then, one day I go to talk about my feelings and simply can't--just too overwhelmed. Today has been one of those days. So...excuse any ranting or long diatribes.
Christmas was fantastic! Somehow, I managed to knit 4 hats in one month--and all of the hats fit their intended owners!!!! I'm super, super proud of myself and I really hope that Maggie, Evelyn, Candice and Angela all wear their hats often. I'm working on a pair of socks for Mom, then a pair of flip-top mittens for Joy and then holiday knitting will officially be OVER! YAY! Anyway, yes, Christmas was great. Everyone loved their gifts, and I loved mine too! I got all kinds of stuff to keep me warm--Christmas jammies, warm socks, thermal long-johns, the most ridiculously soft and warm robe EVER, and an electric blanket to top everything off, LOL! As I type, I'm wearing my Christmas jammie bottoms with a thermal long-john top and am covered up with my electric blanket (set to level 6 of 10--I should mention it's 18 degrees and supposed to snow). I'm toasty...ahhhhhhh. I also got a set of discs to play disc golf with when spring comes!!! I wasn't expecting it, and it was such an awesome surprise to get discs. It shows that my brother John actually pays attention to what I'm into. He's good for stuff like that--he got me the most amazing poker set a few years ago! I got various other functional and fun things for Christmas, but just wanted to mention the stuff that I absolutely love and will get the most use of. We did Christmas on Christmas Eve as always...it was a lot of fun and I love all of our little family traditions. Good food, good conversation, 2 dogs running around, Maggie and Evelyn's smiles when they open a present...it's all awesome. Christmas day is "in-law day" in our family, but as I have no in-laws I ended up spending the first part of the day with Joy and Ted and the second part of the day with Sarah and her family. It was a really great day. I actually get emotional thinking about it, because I have been so lucky to have been semi-adopted into the best families!!! I'm so glad I moved back to Kentucky...it's the best decision I've ever made.
A little backstory before I talk about the day after Christmas--there's this guy. He's one of the 2 shallow men that I was talking about in my previous post. He and I sorta got our wires crossed. See, I'm half-Polish and so is he. Before I even met him in person, I joked about making "Polish babies" with him. Well, I was half-joking, but who's counting? :-P Either way, I was never really serious about trying to hook up with this guy, because I KNEW he was not attracted to bigger girls (even though he was, at one time, fluffy in the middle). When I moved back to KY, I tried to make it clear to him that I wanted to be friends with him and NOTHING MORE. Anyway, I saw him on Christmas at Sarah's parents' house, and we complimented each other on our weight loss (31 lbs now!) and had friendly conversation through the night. I gave him my number so he could harass me to get a bike (on my to-do list since summer). The next day, he texted me and told me one of his favorite local bands was playing at Northside Tavern and suggested I come. I rarely go out, but when I do I really enjoy myself. So I decided it would be a new experience--find my way to the bar by myself, hang out with "Sarah's friend" without Sarah, listen to a cool band, have a drink or 2, and find my way back home. Dude...it was SO not like that. LOL. WTF. Turns out I spent longer on the drive and finding parking than I did actually listening to the band or hanging out. When I caught up with the guy, he was with 2 people I have heard of before but had never met. After introductions, the guy turns to me and says, "By the way, I'm TOTALLY not trying to hook up with you." I told him that wasn't what I was thinking, and what could have been a totally awkward situation was avoided. Oh...but it gets worse. After no more than 5 minutes of small talk, he says to the other girl in our current party (who weighs about 90lbs...) "Oh, I finally did it with a skinny chick and it was everything I hoped it would be. No offense to present company." and looks right at me. My jaw hit the floor, I gathered myself and said, "Gee, thanks" while rolling my eyes. I was so shellshocked, I couldn't even come up with some witty retort as usual. I went to move my car and thought about what he had just said...and I started to get more and more angry. I went back to the bar and they had moved to another area-I'd lost them. I was okay with that because I was there to see the band and I knew the guy was going to be a social butterfly--I had intended on doing this whole adventure on my own and was okay with that. But the longer I thought about the whole situation--HIM commenting on my weight loss, HIM asking for my number, HIM suggesting I come out to this bar, and then HIM insulting me to my face--the more pissed I got. I ended up leaving, coming home angry, throwing things around my room and subsequently crying myself to sleep. It's funny what one little comment can do. Don't get me wrong...I fall in love with my body a little more every day. I like watching it shrink, lol. But my self-esteem hasn't always been good. It takes a million feel-good comments to make a person feel good...and sometimes only 1 offensive comment to make a person forget the million good comments they've heard. The funny thing about it is that by the next day, I wasn't pissed off anymore. Sarah got angrier overnight, and I got more mellow. I guess when you're used to getting kicked around, you get over it easier. She ended up talking to him and letting him know that he had offended me. He apparently knew what was coming out of his mouth as he said it and couldn't stop himself. He's a bit of a social retard, so I can excuse that. I do look forward to an apology, but I'm not holding my breath. Please record this incident as #746 why I fucking hate the male race. :-)
The next day, I was up bright and early to go to the Nutcracker! Joy and Amber got tickets and I was invited, so off we went! We had a good time...we ended up leaving at intermission because little Bailey didn't understand why she couldn't get up on the stage and dance--it was her turn! LOL! I was okay with leaving though--the Nutcracker is LONNNNNNNNNG (I've seen it before) and can be really boring for kids. Luckily Bailey was still smiling when we left so disaster was averted. :-P Anyway, we had fun. It's weird...gratitude runs over gratitude when I'm with Julie's family. Joy and Ted are so grateful towards me that I almost feel undeserving, and I have so much gratitude for them that I have a hard time putting it into words. I still miss Julie and think about her every single day. I wish she would have been around for Christmas. I miss that goofy laugh of hers. :-)
Last night's NYE party at Sarah's was much more mellow than last year...it was small and comfortable. I overindulged in Japanese plum wine and bourbon balls, combined with the other drinky-poos I had throughout the night. I spent the night--I know they only live a 1/2 mile away but I was intoxicated and I will never, EVER drive drunk. In the morning, I was greeted with coffee and breakfast (YAYZ!!) and made my way home. And today I have been a lazy slug, LOL! I can't party like I used to. :-P I absolutely love the friendships that I've cultivated here in KY. If I had it my way, I would hang out with Sarah, Erik, Karen and Than every single day. They are full of awesome, and I am lucky.
I don't really have any resolutions for 2010. I'm just going to keep moving onward and upward. I'll be back in school this year, I'll have to get a job, and I'm going to keep working on myself both inside and out. Men are on the back burner. Hell, men aren't even on the stove right now. I have other things to worry about, and frankly I'm just too bitter to be bothered with them. So...here's to a happy, healthy and fantastic 2010! I hope everyone has a better year than in 2009--it's time for some good juju!
Christmas was fantastic! Somehow, I managed to knit 4 hats in one month--and all of the hats fit their intended owners!!!! I'm super, super proud of myself and I really hope that Maggie, Evelyn, Candice and Angela all wear their hats often. I'm working on a pair of socks for Mom, then a pair of flip-top mittens for Joy and then holiday knitting will officially be OVER! YAY! Anyway, yes, Christmas was great. Everyone loved their gifts, and I loved mine too! I got all kinds of stuff to keep me warm--Christmas jammies, warm socks, thermal long-johns, the most ridiculously soft and warm robe EVER, and an electric blanket to top everything off, LOL! As I type, I'm wearing my Christmas jammie bottoms with a thermal long-john top and am covered up with my electric blanket (set to level 6 of 10--I should mention it's 18 degrees and supposed to snow). I'm toasty...ahhhhhhh. I also got a set of discs to play disc golf with when spring comes!!! I wasn't expecting it, and it was such an awesome surprise to get discs. It shows that my brother John actually pays attention to what I'm into. He's good for stuff like that--he got me the most amazing poker set a few years ago! I got various other functional and fun things for Christmas, but just wanted to mention the stuff that I absolutely love and will get the most use of. We did Christmas on Christmas Eve as always...it was a lot of fun and I love all of our little family traditions. Good food, good conversation, 2 dogs running around, Maggie and Evelyn's smiles when they open a present...it's all awesome. Christmas day is "in-law day" in our family, but as I have no in-laws I ended up spending the first part of the day with Joy and Ted and the second part of the day with Sarah and her family. It was a really great day. I actually get emotional thinking about it, because I have been so lucky to have been semi-adopted into the best families!!! I'm so glad I moved back to Kentucky...it's the best decision I've ever made.
A little backstory before I talk about the day after Christmas--there's this guy. He's one of the 2 shallow men that I was talking about in my previous post. He and I sorta got our wires crossed. See, I'm half-Polish and so is he. Before I even met him in person, I joked about making "Polish babies" with him. Well, I was half-joking, but who's counting? :-P Either way, I was never really serious about trying to hook up with this guy, because I KNEW he was not attracted to bigger girls (even though he was, at one time, fluffy in the middle). When I moved back to KY, I tried to make it clear to him that I wanted to be friends with him and NOTHING MORE. Anyway, I saw him on Christmas at Sarah's parents' house, and we complimented each other on our weight loss (31 lbs now!) and had friendly conversation through the night. I gave him my number so he could harass me to get a bike (on my to-do list since summer). The next day, he texted me and told me one of his favorite local bands was playing at Northside Tavern and suggested I come. I rarely go out, but when I do I really enjoy myself. So I decided it would be a new experience--find my way to the bar by myself, hang out with "Sarah's friend" without Sarah, listen to a cool band, have a drink or 2, and find my way back home. Dude...it was SO not like that. LOL. WTF. Turns out I spent longer on the drive and finding parking than I did actually listening to the band or hanging out. When I caught up with the guy, he was with 2 people I have heard of before but had never met. After introductions, the guy turns to me and says, "By the way, I'm TOTALLY not trying to hook up with you." I told him that wasn't what I was thinking, and what could have been a totally awkward situation was avoided. Oh...but it gets worse. After no more than 5 minutes of small talk, he says to the other girl in our current party (who weighs about 90lbs...) "Oh, I finally did it with a skinny chick and it was everything I hoped it would be. No offense to present company." and looks right at me. My jaw hit the floor, I gathered myself and said, "Gee, thanks" while rolling my eyes. I was so shellshocked, I couldn't even come up with some witty retort as usual. I went to move my car and thought about what he had just said...and I started to get more and more angry. I went back to the bar and they had moved to another area-I'd lost them. I was okay with that because I was there to see the band and I knew the guy was going to be a social butterfly--I had intended on doing this whole adventure on my own and was okay with that. But the longer I thought about the whole situation--HIM commenting on my weight loss, HIM asking for my number, HIM suggesting I come out to this bar, and then HIM insulting me to my face--the more pissed I got. I ended up leaving, coming home angry, throwing things around my room and subsequently crying myself to sleep. It's funny what one little comment can do. Don't get me wrong...I fall in love with my body a little more every day. I like watching it shrink, lol. But my self-esteem hasn't always been good. It takes a million feel-good comments to make a person feel good...and sometimes only 1 offensive comment to make a person forget the million good comments they've heard. The funny thing about it is that by the next day, I wasn't pissed off anymore. Sarah got angrier overnight, and I got more mellow. I guess when you're used to getting kicked around, you get over it easier. She ended up talking to him and letting him know that he had offended me. He apparently knew what was coming out of his mouth as he said it and couldn't stop himself. He's a bit of a social retard, so I can excuse that. I do look forward to an apology, but I'm not holding my breath. Please record this incident as #746 why I fucking hate the male race. :-)
The next day, I was up bright and early to go to the Nutcracker! Joy and Amber got tickets and I was invited, so off we went! We had a good time...we ended up leaving at intermission because little Bailey didn't understand why she couldn't get up on the stage and dance--it was her turn! LOL! I was okay with leaving though--the Nutcracker is LONNNNNNNNNG (I've seen it before) and can be really boring for kids. Luckily Bailey was still smiling when we left so disaster was averted. :-P Anyway, we had fun. It's weird...gratitude runs over gratitude when I'm with Julie's family. Joy and Ted are so grateful towards me that I almost feel undeserving, and I have so much gratitude for them that I have a hard time putting it into words. I still miss Julie and think about her every single day. I wish she would have been around for Christmas. I miss that goofy laugh of hers. :-)
Last night's NYE party at Sarah's was much more mellow than last year...it was small and comfortable. I overindulged in Japanese plum wine and bourbon balls, combined with the other drinky-poos I had throughout the night. I spent the night--I know they only live a 1/2 mile away but I was intoxicated and I will never, EVER drive drunk. In the morning, I was greeted with coffee and breakfast (YAYZ!!) and made my way home. And today I have been a lazy slug, LOL! I can't party like I used to. :-P I absolutely love the friendships that I've cultivated here in KY. If I had it my way, I would hang out with Sarah, Erik, Karen and Than every single day. They are full of awesome, and I am lucky.
I don't really have any resolutions for 2010. I'm just going to keep moving onward and upward. I'll be back in school this year, I'll have to get a job, and I'm going to keep working on myself both inside and out. Men are on the back burner. Hell, men aren't even on the stove right now. I have other things to worry about, and frankly I'm just too bitter to be bothered with them. So...here's to a happy, healthy and fantastic 2010! I hope everyone has a better year than in 2009--it's time for some good juju!
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