First of all...everyone stand up. Now put your hands together and clap for me. I QUIT SMOKING!!!!!!! I started using the lozenge. It worked for me in the past...I just became weak. This time, someone told me just not to buy cigarettes. That seemed fair enough. I bought a carton, I bought Mom a carton, and decided that was the last one EVER. When I ran out of cigarettes, I popped in a lozenge...and now it's 3 days later and I've only had 2 cigarettes. For someone who used to be a pack-a-day smoker, that's GREAT! It's cool because even though I'm still getting cravings...I just don't buy cigarettes. I don't carry a lighter with me. And if I'm running around, I won't stop at a gas station or anything. It's going really well, I'm super proud of myself! I am finally ready to quit, after all this time. Also, it's the only way I can see my Mom quitting. Most of all...I've changed my life so much over the past year. Out with the bad, in with the good. Smoking is unhealthy, and I want to make sure I'm around for as many years as possible. So...YAY! I'll keep everyone informed on my progress.
I had a date Thursday night! And my oh my...what a date it was! Now, I realize that the Big Sexy Man I will refer to in this paragraph is probably reading this. One of the things you'll learn about me is that I love to blog about my life and the people in it...but give them as much anonymity as they desire. ;-)
Back to the date. So...I had been flirting with Big Sexy Man (BSM) for a couple of weeks, and had a really good feeling about all of it. Such a good feeling that I didn't want to blog anything about it until something actually happened. Well...we had a date. We saw a movie at Newport on the Levee, a midnight show and an opening night (which I didn't know at the time). I was hopelessly nervous, but luckily I looked hopelessly hot. Long story short...we had an amazing night. I had no idea what the movie was going to be about, but caught on pretty quickly and at least was able to concentrate on the plot (kinda). It's hard to concentrate on the plot of a sci-fi movie when you are enveloped in the greatest snuggle session ever. :-) Anyway, we watched the movie, then sat in our seats and talked, cuddled and kissed until the cleaning crew reached our row. He walked me to my car, where we talked, cuddled and kissed some more. I like him. He likes me. We'll be seeing each other again, and soon. Damn...that is one big sexy man. Wow.
I am almost done painting the entertainment room!!!!!!! I put the red on the wall today, and will be going back tomorrow and doing a 2nd coat and finishing the edges. Next, I found the PERFECT COUCH for in there! I found an awesome black sofa bed at Target. The cushions on the end bend up to be used as armrests, and it looks like a loveseat, or if you lay the cushions flat, it's a couch. And, it can be laid out as a bed. It's comfortable...and UNDER $200! As soon as I get the damn paint on the walls, I'm getting it. I'll start using the computer in there (my computer is still a paperweight...I'm using Mom's for now) and it can serve as a TV of sorts until I can finally get a TV/DVD player. It sucks that I had to sell my shit when I moved, but it did make my load lighter in the end. Plus, I sold my DVD player for more than I payed for it...so I can't complain. ;-) By this time next week, I want that room to be completely painted and at least minimally furnished. I found some cute candles at Target today that will be perfect for the room. I already have a footstool/storage space. There's already a desk. I found a gorgeous lamp today at Target that I didn't buy...this room is going to be beautiful! I'll be sure to take pics when it's done.
The only bad news this week...Julie had a neuro appointment and the Doctor recommended hospice. On one hand...I understand. On the other hand...I don't think it's necessary right now. The worst thing about this news is that the doctor apparently said this in front of Julie. The thing that makes me cry is that Julie cried. :-( She's still in her body and she knows what's happening to her. It breaks my heart. I vacillate between wanting to keep her here and wanting for it to be over for her. I know she's going to die...I understand that and I accept that it's going to happen. But her comfort level is the most important thing for me. I want her to be able to walk and move her hands and arms for as long as humanly possible. I want her to eat and drink and do it without choking. (I'm sorry, Joy and Ted...I know you're reading this...I read the caringbridge yesterday and was so upset that I absolutely had to write about it.) I don't want her to be a prisoner of her own body. I can tell that it depresses her when she can't physically move. She's obviously glad for help...but frustrated and sad that she needs it at all. I used to think she was blissfully unaware, but that's so not true. All I know is...I'm going to give her as many hugs as I possibly can and spend as much time with her as I can while she's here.
Sorry to end on such a sour note! It has been a great week and I'm super optimistic about the future. I'm a non-smoker, I had an epic date with an epic guy, my home improvement projects are finally getting done, and I have a ton of friends and family who care about me. I am so glad to be back in KY...I wouldn't have traded my experiences for the world, but I belonged here the whole time.
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