I HAVE A JOB!!!!

Mmmkay, so 2010 might not suck after all. It appears my unemployment days are over!

I filled out an application for a telecommute position with Convergys, thinking there was absolutely no way I was going to get the job. I have NO tech support experience, but I have a ton of call center experience and I'm a self-proclaimed customer service ninja. But Cincinnati Bell is having layoffs in their tech support dept right now so obviously the market is packed. I thought there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to get the job.

The position is pretty amazing. It's a telecommute position where I would work from home. I would spend 2 weeks training at the company, then I would be sent home with a computer, a phone and a headset. It's a split-shift schedule...the hours are 11-3, then 7-11. It provides benefits and 401k. Can you say "PERFECT JOB"?? I knew you could.

I could not have gotten through the interview process without Joy, Ted and Amber. I didn't even have a resume because it died with my old laptop and I don't have Word or a printer here at home. So Joy and Ted let me use their computer and printer and POOF! I had a resume! I found a pair of pants that fit (they magically appeared in the entertainment room closet) and a pretty sweater (thanks Julie!) to wear, so I was totally prepared. I had to set 2 alarms to wake myself up at 8am, but made it there on time--after all, it's 10 minutes away!

Longest. Interview. Ever. But time FLEW! There was a paper test, followed by a few computer tests and a typing test. Then I went in for my interview. I don't normally interview very well. I'm usually redfaced and sweaty and bumbling over myself. But I was totally at ease because I knew there was no way I was going to get offered the job. I smiled and was friendly instead of being stiff and formal. We did the usual Q&A--"Tell me about a time when a customer made you so mad you wanted to stab a baby panda in the eye but you kept your cool and puckered your asshole and said 'I'm sorry for your trouble, Sir, let me see if I can help you with that'." (Wow, I'm fucking hilarious.) We did a role-playing exercise and I bumbled a little but collected myself. Afterwards, she said they had more interviews lined up but she wanted to see if she could give me an offer now rather than having to wait a week. OMG! I almost peed myself. I filled out all of the pre-employment paperwork and was sent on my way with drug testing paperwork. I went home, celebrated my brand-new employment by practically tap-dancing to the door, ate lunch and went to my drug test. Now, all I have to do is test my internet service and email the HR lady. BARRING DIVINE INTERVENTION, THIS JOB IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm psyched. Here are a few reasons why!!! First of all, I'm working from home. No driving for 2 hours a day. No psycho coworkers. No dress code (my planned uniform for day 1 at home is longjohns and a fluffy robe. Maybe knee socks.). No non-smoking laws. There will be a bathroom 5 feet away. There will ALWAYS be a knitting project at the ready. I don't start work until 11am. I have time in the afternoon/evening to run errands or hang with my BFF. The money is good. I can give the finger to my computer screen without anyone looking over my back. They're providing a computer. I don't have to brave the rain/sleet/snow/ice or retarded drivers. I don't have to pay to eat lunch, I can just have my Mommy make me some. :-P If I get sick, I don't need to call in for fear of infecting my coworkers--I can just stuff a tissue up my nose and go about my day (while wearing my longjohns and robe).

The most important thing in all of this is I'm going to receive a serious geek orientation. I need this. To be honest, I don't know very much about how computers/teh interwebz work. *blushes* I just know that they work, and I know how to use them very well. Since this is going to be an internet tech support job, I'm going to need to learn this stuff. I passed all of the tests they gave me...2 of them were really hard and very technical, but would be kid stuff to any of my dear friends who have worked at Zoomtown. So, this is going to provide a really good opportunity to learn more about teh interwebz and computers. Just another skill I get to pack under my belt.

I am fully aware that in this economy, I have absolutely no business getting a job this awesome. I should have lost that job to someone from Zoomtown or someone with ANY tech support experience. I won the job based on my past job performance, personality and customer service record. I'm shocked and amazed, and so is my Mom. Shit, EVERYONE is probably shocked and amazed, and I'm sure a couple of people are pissed that they have more experience. But there are more positions available, as far as I know. Working at home is something I've wanted to do since I worked at Karrass...people would call in and have things sent to their "home office" addresses and I would be SOOOOOOO jealous! Somehow, I managed to land this. I guess it's about damn time something good happened, LOL! *knocks on wood* Anyway, I just wanted to shout from the rooftops that I landed the best job ever. I really hope it meets my expectations. I do realize that I will get frustrated. I will get frustrated with the customers, my internet connection, learning new software, not getting off work until 11pm, etc. But to be honest, the good FAR outweighs the bad in this situation. The freedom of working at home is priceless. I feel totally unworthy, but totally awesome at the same time! Part of me knows I deserve it, but I'm still kinda in shock. I have orientation Feb. 12th, and start training at the facility on the 15th. At-home virtual training starts March 1st, and I start my regular schedule on the 8th.

YAY, I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!! Jen's year of unemployment is OVER!