Happy New Year!

I absolutely had to blog! Sometimes I let my emotions build up and don't put them into any useful outlet. Then, one day I go to talk about my feelings and simply can't--just too overwhelmed. Today has been one of those days. So...excuse any ranting or long diatribes.

Christmas was fantastic! Somehow, I managed to knit 4 hats in one month--and all of the hats fit their intended owners!!!! I'm super, super proud of myself and I really hope that Maggie, Evelyn, Candice and Angela all wear their hats often. I'm working on a pair of socks for Mom, then a pair of flip-top mittens for Joy and then holiday knitting will officially be OVER! YAY! Anyway, yes, Christmas was great. Everyone loved their gifts, and I loved mine too! I got all kinds of stuff to keep me warm--Christmas jammies, warm socks, thermal long-johns, the most ridiculously soft and warm robe EVER, and an electric blanket to top everything off, LOL! As I type, I'm wearing my Christmas jammie bottoms with a thermal long-john top and am covered up with my electric blanket (set to level 6 of 10--I should mention it's 18 degrees and supposed to snow). I'm toasty...ahhhhhhh. I also got a set of discs to play disc golf with when spring comes!!! I wasn't expecting it, and it was such an awesome surprise to get discs. It shows that my brother John actually pays attention to what I'm into. He's good for stuff like that--he got me the most amazing poker set a few years ago! I got various other functional and fun things for Christmas, but just wanted to mention the stuff that I absolutely love and will get the most use of. We did Christmas on Christmas Eve as always...it was a lot of fun and I love all of our little family traditions. Good food, good conversation, 2 dogs running around, Maggie and Evelyn's smiles when they open a present...it's all awesome. Christmas day is "in-law day" in our family, but as I have no in-laws I ended up spending the first part of the day with Joy and Ted and the second part of the day with Sarah and her family. It was a really great day. I actually get emotional thinking about it, because I have been so lucky to have been semi-adopted into the best families!!! I'm so glad I moved back to Kentucky...it's the best decision I've ever made.

A little backstory before I talk about the day after Christmas--there's this guy. He's one of the 2 shallow men that I was talking about in my previous post. He and I sorta got our wires crossed. See, I'm half-Polish and so is he. Before I even met him in person, I joked about making "Polish babies" with him. Well, I was half-joking, but who's counting? :-P Either way, I was never really serious about trying to hook up with this guy, because I KNEW he was not attracted to bigger girls (even though he was, at one time, fluffy in the middle). When I moved back to KY, I tried to make it clear to him that I wanted to be friends with him and NOTHING MORE. Anyway, I saw him on Christmas at Sarah's parents' house, and we complimented each other on our weight loss (31 lbs now!) and had friendly conversation through the night. I gave him my number so he could harass me to get a bike (on my to-do list since summer). The next day, he texted me and told me one of his favorite local bands was playing at Northside Tavern and suggested I come. I rarely go out, but when I do I really enjoy myself. So I decided it would be a new experience--find my way to the bar by myself, hang out with "Sarah's friend" without Sarah, listen to a cool band, have a drink or 2, and find my way back home. Dude...it was SO not like that. LOL. WTF. Turns out I spent longer on the drive and finding parking than I did actually listening to the band or hanging out. When I caught up with the guy, he was with 2 people I have heard of before but had never met. After introductions, the guy turns to me and says, "By the way, I'm TOTALLY not trying to hook up with you." I told him that wasn't what I was thinking, and what could have been a totally awkward situation was avoided. Oh...but it gets worse. After no more than 5 minutes of small talk, he says to the other girl in our current party (who weighs about 90lbs...) "Oh, I finally did it with a skinny chick and it was everything I hoped it would be. No offense to present company." and looks right at me. My jaw hit the floor, I gathered myself and said, "Gee, thanks" while rolling my eyes. I was so shellshocked, I couldn't even come up with some witty retort as usual. I went to move my car and thought about what he had just said...and I started to get more and more angry. I went back to the bar and they had moved to another area-I'd lost them. I was okay with that because I was there to see the band and I knew the guy was going to be a social butterfly--I had intended on doing this whole adventure on my own and was okay with that. But the longer I thought about the whole situation--HIM commenting on my weight loss, HIM asking for my number, HIM suggesting I come out to this bar, and then HIM insulting me to my face--the more pissed I got. I ended up leaving, coming home angry, throwing things around my room and subsequently crying myself to sleep. It's funny what one little comment can do. Don't get me wrong...I fall in love with my body a little more every day. I like watching it shrink, lol. But my self-esteem hasn't always been good. It takes a million feel-good comments to make a person feel good...and sometimes only 1 offensive comment to make a person forget the million good comments they've heard. The funny thing about it is that by the next day, I wasn't pissed off anymore. Sarah got angrier overnight, and I got more mellow. I guess when you're used to getting kicked around, you get over it easier. She ended up talking to him and letting him know that he had offended me. He apparently knew what was coming out of his mouth as he said it and couldn't stop himself. He's a bit of a social retard, so I can excuse that. I do look forward to an apology, but I'm not holding my breath. Please record this incident as #746 why I fucking hate the male race. :-)

The next day, I was up bright and early to go to the Nutcracker! Joy and Amber got tickets and I was invited, so off we went! We had a good time...we ended up leaving at intermission because little Bailey didn't understand why she couldn't get up on the stage and dance--it was her turn! LOL! I was okay with leaving though--the Nutcracker is LONNNNNNNNNG (I've seen it before) and can be really boring for kids. Luckily Bailey was still smiling when we left so disaster was averted. :-P Anyway, we had fun. It's weird...gratitude runs over gratitude when I'm with Julie's family. Joy and Ted are so grateful towards me that I almost feel undeserving, and I have so much gratitude for them that I have a hard time putting it into words. I still miss Julie and think about her every single day. I wish she would have been around for Christmas. I miss that goofy laugh of hers. :-)

Last night's NYE party at Sarah's was much more mellow than last year...it was small and comfortable. I overindulged in Japanese plum wine and bourbon balls, combined with the other drinky-poos I had throughout the night. I spent the night--I know they only live a 1/2 mile away but I was intoxicated and I will never, EVER drive drunk. In the morning, I was greeted with coffee and breakfast (YAYZ!!) and made my way home. And today I have been a lazy slug, LOL! I can't party like I used to. :-P I absolutely love the friendships that I've cultivated here in KY. If I had it my way, I would hang out with Sarah, Erik, Karen and Than every single day. They are full of awesome, and I am lucky.

I don't really have any resolutions for 2010. I'm just going to keep moving onward and upward. I'll be back in school this year, I'll have to get a job, and I'm going to keep working on myself both inside and out. Men are on the back burner. Hell, men aren't even on the stove right now. I have other things to worry about, and frankly I'm just too bitter to be bothered with them. So...here's to a happy, healthy and fantastic 2010! I hope everyone has a better year than in 2009--it's time for some good juju!