Nothing new.

Nothing much new on the Julie front...I went over there today for a bit. She can't stand on her own at all anymore. Poor Ted has to lift her, turn her, and put her back down again every time she needs to move. Joy and Ted have been giving her juice and strawberry milk with a large eyedropper in her mouth. She's lost so much weight I can't believe it...I helped change her today and couldn't believe how thin she was. She's still hanging on, though. The only true development has been that Julie's husband has gone from being King Douche to The Grand Czar of Douchebaggery overnight. I will probably never understand his actions, but I guess they're not for me to understand.

I woke up this morning, sad. Thinking about how much I really could have used Mike's hugs just made me sadder. I really hope he meant what he said about staying friends. It drives me crazy that we seemed so perfect for each other and I can't be with him. It's infuriating and it makes me so sad.

I still don't understand any of this...people who read my blog know that I am able to write pretty eloquently and express my feelings really well. But I am simply so sad over everything that has happened over the past week that I don't really have any words to describe it. I know I have a support system, but it hurts when the one person you want to run to (the one who gives the best hugs :-p) can't be there for you. It hurts to know that soon, I won't be able to confide in Julie anymore. I loved telling her secrets because I knew she couldn't tell anyone. :-P She would just smile or laugh, and she would let me know in her own way when she related to me. She even laughed when I told her that Justin's new girlfriend's name was Norma. I can confide in my Mom, but she's not that great at raising my spirits. I can confide in BFF Sarah, but one person can only listen to me bitch and cry for so long. All I know is that I've been pretty comfortable in my room, just letting the tears come whenever they come.

It's been a bad week.